Preparation, Perspective, and the Reality of Mediation

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I prepare meticulously. I study. I research. I know the case.

Before every mediation, I spend time understanding the facts, the personalities, the pressure points, and what matters to each side. And when the mediation begins, I listen. Parties want to be heard. Lawyers want to know their arguments were understood. Mediation is not simply carrying numbers from one room to another.

The work is in understanding the case deeply enough to help people evaluate risk, find movement, and make difficult decisions.Just recently, we settled five cases, closing out Zoom mediations #1,279–1,283. Two slipped away.

If this were baseball, that batting average would put you in the Hall of Fame. In mediation, it means something different: you come back the next week and keep doing the work. Because sometimes a case needs a trial to establish marketplace values. Not every dispute is ready to resolve, and not every case should settle before its time.

After enough years doing this, here are three things I never love hearing in mediation:

1. “Go do your magic and make them pay (or take) my number.”If you want magic, hire David Copperfield.

2. “That’s why we’re paying you the big bucks.”You would pay David Copperfield a lot more.

3. “This is not about the money.”It’s almost always primarily about the money. Not exclusively, respect, validation, principle, and closure matter too, but dollars are often how value gets expressed.

Preparation does not guarantee settlement. But preparation, listening, and showing respect to everyone in the process are things I can control and things I intend to keep bringing to every mediation.